Stalking the wild SOB! A story form spring 2010...

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Stalking the wild SOB!
By Bob Zettler
March 9, 2010

Decisions. Okay, here I am sitting in the Hazelwood, Missouri Cabela’s store at 7 PM on a Friday night trying to decide what to do after taking the day off where I had planned on hunting in the northwest corner of Missouri but had instead lounged around the house. You see I had been invited to hunt SOB’s with some great people out in the Mound City area when Mother Nature intervened and they had little to no birds in the area. My hosts had called earlier to suggest I postpone my trip by a week or two so I could experience the best (or better) conditions for a more successful hunt. And while I deeply appreciated not only their kind invitation and consideration, I was in the dumps as I had been packed and ready to go since Monday! And, as I tried to see if other friends had room for me, I still had not heard back and it was now approaching the witching hour…

As I saw it, I had five options. One, I could hunt with friends close to home as we had some SOBs in the area but nowhere near what we had the past weekend. Two, I could contact my host who had suggested I delay my hunt and go ahead and drive the next six hours to hunt with them. Three, I could call another outfitter in the central Missouri area where they have birds and see if they had room for me for either Saturday or Sunday – I couldn’t afford both. Four, I could simply turn around and go home to sulk. Or five, I could continue on to Jonesboro, Arkansas to join with some friends already there who were trying to catch the remnants of the final birds heading north and had killed 18 that day.

When my friends back home hadn’t called or texted back (never did but that is another story), I decided to take a chance and drive to Arkansas even though I feared my physical abilities would limit me in any stalking and that my buddies simply did not have enough of a spread to attract the numbers of birds passing through. So my head and my gut feelings were extremely mixed as I headed south in the darkness to a situation I had never tried and I feared my Dark Cloud would cast a pall over the weekend and beat back any birds which might have dropped down into the decoys for a look-see…

Now I was well into my 5.5 hour drive when I realized I had no idea where in Jonesboro they were staying! Luckily I was able to reach them before they drifted off to sleep and learned it was the Econo-lodge and I Googled directions on my Droid which escorted me right to them shortly after midnight. Within minutes I was inside the room and had carved a place out for me on the floor. I also set my alarm to ensure we got up for after all I hadn’t driven nearly 400 miles to be late in the field BUT then the F-111’s began to taxi in the room. You see Gary has a problem, his snoring is considered a freak of nature and even with a box fan on high less than six-inches from my head that couldn’t drown out his jackhammer vibrations. So, I get on the internet with my Droid Cell and maybe, just maybe, drift off to sleep around 3:30 AM only to wake up when Gary’s alarm and then mine went off around 4:30 AM. Still, I had to throw a pillow at him to get him jump-started and he, Nathan and I began to get dressed and ready to leave.

Billy and Joey were next door and all of us left within 30 minutes only to stall out at the gas station where we fueled up and got coffee and snacks. We could already see daylight breaking as we drove towards the field where the decoys were already set and Gary reassured us that the birds never flew until well after sunrise…famous last words.

Round One. We arrived at the field just before sunrise and well after legal shooting time to discover birds all over the place and even working our decoys! Bummer. We busted a gut getting out there and I went with a white parka instead of taking out my layout and trying to brush it with birds in the air. While not a long hike, we were already off on an uphill race to get ready. I am guilty as the rest when it comes to not getting ready early and well before legal shooting time, but we were all a little surprised to have so many, so early on top of us. However, we set up and had birds begin to work us much to our relief but they just would not get closer than 70 or so yards. We took some long volleys and tried different locations for where we lay in ambush from the back of the spread, to the front and finally to the one edge where they all seemed to be drawn to.

Again, we had four guys in layouts and me in my white full-length parka (Texas Hunting Products) and only once did I see birds flare from us. We had three flags a flapping, a sound system and I even brought my new copy of Snow Reaper which we went with half-way through our hunt but by 9 AM we only had three or so birds down and the rest of the birds were already settling down into two areas nearby. One directly in front of us on the other side of a tree line where some other hunters said they were going to set up in the day before but hadn’t showed up and another north of us in two different fields. So we decided to see about putting a sneak, stalk, crawl or whatever on them – something I had never down and feared - feared because I am overweight and out-of-shape! You see with my scarred lungs I simply cannot catch my breath and when I had listened to past stories about crawling through the mud for hundreds of yards or doubled-over low-riding in ditches or behind low levees, I just did not know whether I could do it and that I might screw it up for the others. So I was extremely concerned as we piled into Gary’s truck to check out the birds on the north side.

Round Two. As we got closer to the feeding SOBs, we could see that the one group’s leading edge was maybe 50 to 60 yards off the trail and that there was a slight ditch that would allow us to sneak along and then up and over for a shoot. Now, Gary first proposed we simply walk alongside the other side of the truck and bail out as he got to the feeding hoard and that he would simply watch but we figured out that he could park his truck a couple hundred yards back and we could all sneak along till we got to the ditch and then finish the stalk of our prey. Thankfully, they hadn’t had any rain recently and we didn’t have to crawl or get stuck in any deep mud but I was last to arrive at the spot where we would lie in wait for them to get closer.

So here we are lined up in a ditch spread out maybe 15 to 20 yards and you can barely hear the guy next to you due to the low rumble of the feeding frenzy in front of us. You could see hundreds of them in the open rows that were separated by cut and standing rice stalks that were ready made as shooting lanes for all of us. Now we had the wind in our face and many believe that they feed into the wind but this wasn’t the case today. Yet, nerves were on edge and anxiety on nuclear as we watched and waited for them to work their way closer and closer. You have to picture the scene. We had the path behind us and we were spread out in this fairly dry ditch with an open area maybe 20 yards wide in front of us and then strips of cut rice stalks interspersed with open lanes where there was maybe 5,000 SOBs feeding and working our way making a sound only those who have experienced it can relate to.

And you have two hunters who had never hunted SOBs until this year, one who had only done it a couple of times and this old fart who considers walking down the stairs at work a difficult exercise but had only hunted SOBs out of decoys or pass-shooting, so nerves were taut. In fact, a couple kept asking if we shouldn’t fire now as they might get up and leave if they spotted us. Patience. Patience I kept repeating as time was on our side but that was before my heart began to pound like I had overdosed on speed as I watched these birds scurry about and fearing that they might bust us or decide to feed away from where we laid in wait.

Patience was what I preached but it was excitement and anxiety that had control over my body as I would only allow myself to poke my head ever so slightly over the top to catch a peak at the birds just to ensure that they were still there, getting closer and that my lane was my lane to shoot with plenty of targets! You see I am one of those guys who likes to know that what I shoot at I hit, or what I pickup is what I shot and not someone else’s trophy. Not a claimer but as my shooting can be dead on or off, it becomes extremely important to me to know that when I pull the trigger, the quarry I am shooting at is the one that falls and that no one else did it. Having said that, I made sure Joey and I had our shooting lanes down and I knew I would only shoot to my left at departing birds as Joey was to my right so that I would know pretty quick if I blew it or connected…for all too often I have blown it!

This was worse than Christmas at the Simpson’s as there were five of us who just couldn’t wait to unload and unwrap our presents. There was a desire by some to begin shooting at 50 to 60 yards – with all of us dying of anxiety – but you had Gary and me preaching patience. It came to a point where we just couldn’t take it anymore and Gary started the countdown – 3, 2, 1 and five people started unloading! Now I paused after my first shot for a split second to take in what I had just done in my lane. Did I blow it and completely miss my birds or did I at least hit one or two? When I saw white bodies lying on the ground with another bunch staggering from their mortal wounds, I smiled and began to blast away at the departing birds watching them drop with almost every one of the remaining six shotshells.

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I was not prepared for this. I had been too worried about being able to stalk them and then scared I would embarrass myself when I couldn’t hit any, that when I saw all the dead and dying straight out and to my left in front of me, I was as giddy as a school child. I could clearly see twenty or so birds right in front of me and more out in front dead and dying and many I knew were from my Winchester SX2 with a custom made extension tube from Nick Shafer. Yes, the Remington Heavy Shot definitely seemed to have been a very wise choice – I started out with five 3” #4 shotshells followed by two 3” #2 shells – as I had also opted to go with an improved-modified Briley choke tube to give the more open pattern over the Patternmaster which I use on decoying and pass shooting birds with. Yet, I hadn’t given much thought to the cripple round-up as I never expected so many and so far away too. And as several charged out after them, I recalled what my Father always told me when I would try and catch one of our dogs when they got loose form the fenced in yard, “Don’t chase them as they will simply run away.” As what I would do when retrieving cripples in the past, whether it was a duck, goose, pheasant, dove or whatever, I would work my way towards them but off to the side and then as I got close enough, I would pounce on them from the side. Most times they would hunker down and it made for a cleaner kill and less stress on both you and the prey; more humane on both of you too! But I wasn’t going to argue as the rest went out after cripples as there was no stopping them or should there be and I began to concentrate on the birds in the vicinity and those which were trying to escape off to my side. Yes, I shot a few but for the most part I only did that when they were running to escape. As I began to dispatch the birds, I also created piles to make it easier as the field was a little muddy and not easy for a big guy like me to make much headway with my lungs too.

I could see several heading towards the tree-line several hundred yards away to my left and a couple had gone around me and were crossing the path we came down when a truck pulled up and the hunters who had planned to hunt the field across from us showed up and brought their dog! As they began to assist in mopping up, the rest of my crew were now done and making their way back to the killing field and locating any other missed birds. This was hard work! I had always thought the work was getting into position but now realized it was more so in performing the mop up and we had piles of birds to account for and bring back to where we could get them into the truck. Taking a breather and shooting the bull with our young friends from Arkansas, we realized that they were a pretty nice group of guys. And we needed the break as when our friends went on to put a sneak on the same birds that we had just busted and had moved to another field, we discovered we had killed a 122 SOBs on that shoot! Words escape me even now and no one can ever tell me that isn’t hunting or exciting as in my 37 years of hunting deer, turkey, pheasant, ducks, geese, dove, and all the rest, I had never, ever been so excited in my life. To have that mass of birds with that unmistakable bass rumble just 35 to 40 yards in front of you…well, you just had to be there.

Then came the pictures and smiles all around as Rounds One and Two was now over and it was on to Round Three. For you see, while most of our birds that we had just shot at had jumped over to where the others were going to jump them, we had another group just down the road which were feeding near the farmer’s house and shop!



Round Three. This stalk presented new challenges and opportunities. These birds were spread out to the west of the farm house outbuildings, equipment and pasture in a harvested rice field but close at maybe 50 or more yards. However, they were split into at least two groups but we had a plan! The primary flock was much farther from the road but was feeding on the other side of a small levee that had a thick pasture on the other side – the side we would have to stalk them through. The other group was split into at least two small flocks of several hundred birds each but they were adjacent to the outbuildings and farm equipment. Our plan was to split into two groups with three of us putting a stalk on them through the pasture and Nathan and me sneaking through the farm equipment and then belly crawl on the ground to get to the same levee that Gary, Billy and Joey would come up over.

Not too difficult but there was one rub – we were to get into position and wait for Gary’s crew to begin shooting and then for us to follow suit! Hopefully, our birds would still be on the ground so we could blast away as we had no way to know just when the others were going to shoot!

Nathan and I made our way to the roaring masses of SOBs and laid our shotguns over the top of the levee and began our wait. And as we were pretty exposed here, we stayed laying flat on our bellies and seldom looked up for there were new birds arriving and others milling about overhead and we did not want to get busted! Since I was the one closest to the where the others were making their way to the levee some 100 or so yards away, it was up to me to keep Nathan updated and when to be ready. Now we had been in position for some time and since the pasture down at their end was pretty thick, I only caught brief glimpses of them as they made their way to the edge but then I thought I saw them right at the levee and had Nathan get ready. But nothing happened and why were they so out in the open on that levee? Finally, I saw them still back in the pasture and realized that what I thought was them were most likely SOBs! I started praying they wouldn’t get busted after all the work we had put in…

Then it looked like they were getting in position and I had already staked out my shots to the SOBs that were directly in front of me and slightly to the left with Shawn’s shooting lane directly in front of him. And while his group wasn’t as large as mine, these were the best opportunities for both of us when the shooting begins. All of a sudden, the others began to unload and before we could start in on our carnage, the birds in front of us had already taken flight. Again, I was shooting 3” Remington Hevi-Shot with #4’s for the first four shells followed by three #2’s in a 3 ½” shotshell. My first shot rained down four or five birds as did several of the others but it was my last shot that took out a single at well over 85 paces stone dead that remains the most memorable – and shocking!

Then the work began in earnest as we now had to collect the dead, dying and cripples. When all was said and done we had 62 birds with 32 of them from our end which is amazing to me as we were shooting at departing birds but who am I to argue. And, Billy got lucky and found the only one of the day that was banded. Congratulations! We loaded all these birds into Gary’s truck and then went looking for the birds we saw fall in the distance and was able to recover all if not more since we found at least one that might have come from the other hunters.



Round Four. All told, we had 191 birds and this was accomplished by 1 PM! We set them up and took our pictures and after going back into town for some lunch we returned and went back to finish the day in the spread around 3 PM. Now here is where it gets interesting, as we walked out to the decoys, we found three birds that had been shot that morning but no one had seen them fall. A little embarrassing but it added to our tally! As we waited on the masses to come right at sunset, we went over the day and savored the moment. However, the masses never came but we did scratch out another four birds for a total of 198 birds for the day. We decided to leave the decoy spread out in the field as they had done the previous night and agreed to clean birds back at the hotel in the parking lot but Gary was almost out of gas so we had to go in the other direction first in order to make it back to the hotel.



About 45 minutes later after we got gas and some liquid refreshments, we were going down the highway and all of a sudden there was a SOB walking in the middle of the road – SMACK! I yelled out 199 and we all laughed. We turned around but had to wait for traffic to pass us before being able to pick up the goose and when we turned around again and this was when we discovered this was the field we had been hunting in!! Que sera, sera.

Again, we had to wait for traffic and noticed a truck had pulled off the road opposite where we had been earlier and wondered if he was okay as we passed him but finally saw that he turned around himself several minutes later. We couldn’t figure out why the truck that had been parked at the house-trailer down the road had done that but then quickly forgot about it as we knew we (now) had 199 geese to clean when we got back to the hotel…

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TKO. Everyone got to sleep that night and I was so tired I never heard Gary’s supersonic snoring but for a few minutes. The next morning I hustled to get ready and we arrived at the field well before legal shooting time. It was pretty difficult to see the decoy spread in the darkness and as Gary began to look for the speaker system to hook up the now charged battery, that is when we began to notice something wasn’t right…

He could only find two speakers and where the Heck was the CD player and why were some of these decoys stacked up? Holy ****e, we have been robbed!!!! In very short order, we could tell that all of the Silo-Socks were missing as were many of the shell decoys along with a few of the full-body decoys, along with the sound system and several layout blinds – nearly $2,000 worth of gear! Immediately Gary and I think of that truck as we had noticed that there had been several more trucks in front of his trailer when we went by after getting gas than when we went by there earlier or they had the day before. The sheriff was called and as we waited on him (or her), we discussed going down there and doing our own investigation but cooler heads prevailed and the sheriff did go down and have a talk with the occupants but (of course) they knew nothing about it…

Well, that was it and we decided to call it a day and pack up. So our hunt was a technical knockout due to losing over half of our decoys and our hearts were not in it now. Gary had never had any problems in the past and he had been hunting here for over 10 years but you never know nowadays. You just never know.

Yet, as I already said earlier, I had never been as excited in all my years of hunting as I was when we were waiting on that feeding hoard of SOBs to get closer. The rush was almost more than I could take. Sure, I love smacking any waterfowl in the decoys with feet down, or getting that Wild turkey into range to put the smack-down on him and, of course, taking that kill shot on a nice Buck after waiting on him to clear the brush where you have sat in ambush from your stand or blind. But this was one for the books and probably the first time that I actually would have been satisfied with our one day bounty and now I had to be.



Again, for those out there that have never experienced that noise the SOBs make when they are feeding just yards away knowing that you are going to smite them soon…well, it is just something you will have to try. And for those who will only hunt them from a decoy spread, to each his own as I love that too, but this was a legal method of hunting as is pass-shooting, jump-shooting, shooting over decoys, and the rest that the government allows us to use to try and control the SOBs. But I digress as usual…